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Archive for Cheating and Infidelity

The Money Matters

We may be told that it’s the  wrong idea to marry (or simply be in a relationship) for money; however, the fact remains that one’s financial standing plays a pivotal role in our daily lives. So, while income and savings may not be the primary criteria in deciding who one becomes involved with, it will undoubtedly be a factor.

Lets think about it for a moment. You won’t have to access to a prospective mate’s credit score, bank account statement, or credit card bill. However, we subconsciously or not take in account a variety of characteristics that shape or serve as predictive traits of an individual’s economic standing. What is his/her job? Is it a career or merely a job? Where does he/she live? What kind of vehicle does he/she drive? What kind of clothes are in their wardrobe?  Where did he/she go to school? These are all simple questions that only begin to shape a financial blueprint.

Why does this matter? Well the reality of matter is that money dictates significant portion of our lives, offering options across the board or conversely minimizing opportunities. For these reasons, financial circumstances are a common cause of stress or friction particularly within the context of a relationship especially when those in a committed longterm married or co-habitational scenario will share the burden of household expenses, groceries, rent, taxes, car payments etc.

Now take a step back and consider this; what if the person that you invest so much of your time and hard earned money into cheats? Most of us think of cheating as a physical act; however, what if your spouse is hiding or spending money behind your back? What else are she/she hiding and why? A private investigator may be able to fill in the holes in your cheque book.

Not So Social Media

Social media has drastically changed the mechanisms and manner in which individuals communicate. Furthermore it has shifted our ideas of community. Now on one hand, the internet allows us the ability to interact with others instantly despite being physically separated over vast distances. However, the argument has and continues to be made that social media has caused a lapse in actual socializing, one in which individuals substitute virtual screen interaction (via smartphone, computer etc) for time that had previously been designated for time spent outside the friendly confines of one’s home with friends and family.

In essence, why should you or I take the time and money to make plans with each other to meet for a meal or activity, when we can maintain a connection online? It’s easier to schedule since you simply need access, you don’t need to drive, dress up or even compromise on a type of cuisine. We’ll each have food delivered to our respective homes and wear whatever’s comfortable and no one has to split any checks. It’s customization and convenience at its finest. Everybody’s happy, we all eat what we want, and hey you even have a drink a two if you want, after all nobody’s driving anywhere.

But there is that one pesky sticking point, in this circumstance you never really see anybody. Maybe your desire to relax as a home body is achieved and this eliminates the potential pressures of introducing yourself to strangers, but at same time sitting on your couch can get old quickly. You have nobody to impress, but yourself. Now wait a minute, can’t you use these “social” platforms to met people.

Cheating Business

surveillance-cheating-coupleAre there degrees or levels of infidelity? When individuals envision cheating what they typically picture are the physical sexual acts, their suspicious spouse in a bedroom with someone else. However, this may not be the manner in which a cheater views the same events.

While the victim of cheating often ties together an emotional element to a physical relationship, those who stray for physical purposes may simply characterize sex as just that; physical. A cheater could consider their actions a matter of availability and need. He/she needed the physical release of stress that sex temporarily provides, and for any number of reasons chose a stranger to participate with. Maybe their spouse was out of town, or conversely he/she was on a business trip and simply hooked up with someone after a drink at the hotel bar. Read More→

A Cheating Start

couple-arm-in-armDoes the circumstances in which something begins  dictate its future outcome? A philosophical question that deserves some further exploration particularly when it comes to relationships. In this case, if a relationship is born out of infidelity, is it bound for failure?

Now one’s first instinct may suggest that of course since infidelity is labeled a selfish and therefore negative action its offspring cannot in turn create a positive. However, those  quick gut judgements may become tempered by the details which led to the ultimate action. What if a person is in a poor unfulfilling relationship, one marred by poor communication, disinterest, substance or physical abuse etc. He/she knows that their current situation is not in their best interest, but at the same time remains locked in by a sense of obligation to the pleasant memories of the past, a fear of the unknown due to a sense of interdependence, the potential judgement/ humiliation of divorce etc. Read More→

The Road Which Leads to Divorce

couple-fightingInfidelity is the action which gathers the most glaring attention when a relationship is on the skids. However, the reality is that cheating is often the grand gesture or tipping point of a situation that has gone bad. Below, we will discuss a handful of the circumstances that can put a couple on the path to failure.

  • Activities: part of the connection which binds two individual is the simpatico or compatibility. In simple terms a couple gets each other. They each can have unique interests, hobbies etc. However, they understand where the other is coming from and appreciate and spend time together experiencing these activities. Now over the course of time, one’s interests may change. Work and other responsibilities can shift the priority scale. However, a couple which has a hard time making time for each other will more easily grow apart.
  •  Attraction: Physical looks may not be the end and be all that defines a couple. However, intimacy is often an indicator of how things are going. Clearly, we all won’t look youthful forever, but intimacy maintains that physical connection; and links into our next point.
  • Appreciation: Anyone can become the victim of habit or routine. However, that becomes an issue when we fail to recognize what each other does that benefits both of our lives. Some of the most common things which are taken for granted are household chores (cooking, cleaning, laundry, maintenance, grocery shopping, bill paying etc.) Over time this actions can occur as if on autopilot, but it doesn’t mean that they should be taken for granted.
  • Finances: Many households disagree over the way in which the mighty dollar is spent. This can aggravated by income inequality between spouses or disagreements over how money should be spent regarding purchases etc. The point being, you should try your best to be on the sam page regarding the checkup.

Read More→

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