What’s the long-term outlook for a relationship that begins as an affair? Does a deceitful dawn ultimately lead to an unsuccessful union?
There are no universal answers. However, there are commonalities which serve as building and roadblocks within a relationship.
Much depends on the root cause of the affair.
- Is it based on a purely physical or emotional connection?
- Are both individuals cheating or is one single?
- Is the cheater being honest about their estranged relationship?
The immediate elephant in the room when a relationship begins as an affair is the trust component. When a pair of single individuals start to date a certain innocence hangs in the air, one which highlights the positive aspects of each other’s personality, forging a union which deepens and like an onion reveals its inner layers over time.
This process develops a sense of intimacy and trust. That trust allows couples to drop their collective guard and expose their fears and flaws. That sense of communication and commitment are the foundation of a meaningful, lasting relationship.
Infidelity, to a certain extent, represents the polar opposite displaying deceitful behavior.
Can you trust someone that you know is capable of cheating?
This is when circumstances matter. If the prospective spouse is a serial cheater, it’s not a matter of if, but when.
But maybe they were in an unhappy relationship for a lengthy period and they used an affair as a mechanism to exit a bad situation to begin anew with you. But is the end of their pre-established relationship a formality?
Or do they continually suggest that they want to end it, but now’s not the right time? In this case, you are emotionally strung along and potentially used as a temporary alternative.
The critical thing to consider is that life can be messy, and while a relationship might not begin under the most pristine conditions, it can blossom into a beautiful situation. How?
The simple answer is honesty
If your prospective partner is forthright about the circumstances that led to their promiscuity, the underlying issues or root causes will be revealed, discussed, and potentially remedied before they happen in the future, so that hopefully this time around history doesn’t repeat itself.
Did your relationship start this way? Are you concerned that your spouse has established a pattern of infidelity which keeps you awake at night? Contact us so that we can discuss your situation and determine the best course of action to provide you with peace of mind.