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Archive for Editorial – Page 2

A Cheating Start

couple-arm-in-armDoes the circumstances in which something begins  dictate its future outcome? A philosophical question that deserves some further exploration particularly when it comes to relationships. In this case, if a relationship is born out of infidelity, is it bound for failure?

Now one’s first instinct may suggest that of course since infidelity is labeled a selfish and therefore negative action its offspring cannot in turn create a positive. However, those  quick gut judgements may become tempered by the details which led to the ultimate action. What if a person is in a poor unfulfilling relationship, one marred by poor communication, disinterest, substance or physical abuse etc. He/she knows that their current situation is not in their best interest, but at the same time remains locked in by a sense of obligation to the pleasant memories of the past, a fear of the unknown due to a sense of interdependence, the potential judgement/ humiliation of divorce etc. Read More→

Financial Understanding

money-blurredWhen a couple enters into marriage, one of the frequent discussions and/or subesquent  understandings they may come to focuses on financial responsability and how that relates to professional aspirations, how income will be allocated etc.  Part of these sticky but ultimately fundamental debates may center around career goals (earning potential) versus  the educational cost in dollars and time required to reach that point.

Digging deeper, you may discuss the types of things one does or doesn’t prescribe value to. As an example, you may prefer to spend money on things that offer convenience and comfort in your daily life over temporary luxuries. In other words, you would rather dish out extra cash on items such as clothing, furniture, vehicles, appliances, groceries than spend on going to events, dining out, or going on extravagant vacations. Conversely some may prefer the value of said experiences and thus be willing to limit spending in the daily in order to save and splurge on special occasions such as vacations etc.

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Getting Back On Course Post Divorce

infidelity-scribble-1As individuals we are constantly adapting and evolving to our current circumstances. However, we tend to place of emphasis on making changes when major events place us out on a cliff. These changes can be dictated by gains or losses in our private or personal lives. So, while infidelity and subsequent potential divorce can come as a dramatic shock to the system, once the initial physical pain subsides, an opportunity for personal growth and reinvention may present itself.

In the beginning, an individual that has been victimized by infidelity may feel damaged or unable to develop the trust component necessary to create a new relationship. That sense of self assurance and security can be built a new over time. In the interim,  an individual can shift the onus back onto him/herself.

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Infidelity May be About Your Spouse, But It Effects Your Children

child-holding-legRelationships often start off simple, based on physical attraction, as time goes by the dimensions and/or depth of that interaction augments and increases. Injecting children into that equation dramatically shifts the established nature of that relationship. As a result, it makes sense that a landmark event, such as infidelity, will not  simply impact a couple but also the child or children that sit  on the sidelines as innocent bystanders.

Of course the ideal relationship avoids infidelity and therefore bypasses the hazards that it presents. However, reality is often not a fairy tale, So, how should we address adultery when dealing with our children. Should we present a brave face hoping to maintain the ideal of their parents’ relationship as a means of enlisting optimism in a safeguarding manner. Should we be brutally honest, presenting the facts exposing them to reality in a manner that might change their opinion of their mother or father in a negative light? Read More→

Affair Aftermath

couple-fightingFlying in the wake of infidelity, a couple that decides to attempt mend the burned bridges of their relationship faces a daunting task The obvious or glaring issue is the betrayal of trust associated with cheating. While the onus may be placed on the physical intimate actions,the depths of cheating range deeper.

A couple that hopes to overcome the large obstacle which infidelity creates, needs to fully understand the causes and impact of those actions. What were the underlying problems which caused the cheater to cheat? Was there as often is the case a breakdown in communication? While the vast majority of blame will ultimately be placed on the back of a cheater, what role did the actions of the latter spouse play in this unfortunate situation?

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