It is said that the moment you become a parent, your idea of life changes. This concept is often applied to describe a shift toward maturity and away from selfish endeavors.
For example, your college buddy, who used to hit happy hour hard on Thursday afternoon and then stumble into class half asleep on Friday morning, now shies away from going to the bar at all.
“I’ve got some odds and ends to take care of around the house,” he says before giving you a soft “maybe,” which from experience, you translate to a polite “no.”
The problem isn’t that you still think that you’re 22, it’s that you miss those end of week occasions, when for a few hours or an entire day, the group collectively drops their responsibilities and worries to have a good time.
Spontaneous Youth to Busy Parenthood
I can hear you saying, “isn’t this what we call vacation now?” Well, yes, but also no. There’s something to be admired in the spontaneity of youth, that innate ability to drop everything at a moment’s notice and drastically change course; like that night when you drifted off-campus and went into that party because you heard a song you liked.
You end up having a great night because there was no schedule, no anticipation, no anxiety, no expectations.
Now everything gets the joy sucked out of it because no one lives close together, and your friends have families or at least spouses they need to check-in with before committing. It turns hanging out into a complex equation of aligning busy schedules, which like a pocket pair of aces, is rarely dealt to you.
Rare Night Out Leads to Reflection & a Serious Revelation
It’s tough to live up to expectations. Your marriage ends, which is difficult because you didn’t expect that. You did kind of still win though, your kid’s great and parenting did make life better by not making it all about you.
Tonight, your ex has the kid, and you’re free to meet a friend at the bar. You ate a burger and drank a couple of beers. You go to the bathroom, all the urinals are occupied, but the stall looks empty. It must be your lucky night.
However, when you push the door open, a guy is in there doing drugs.
You quickly reverse course, to each his own, right? It’s not my life.
Then, as you’re washing your hands, you see the guys face as he walks out. It looks like the guy your ex is seeing.
Do they use drugs together? What about when your daughter’s there, like tonight?
You need answers, but you don’t how to approach finding them. Call us, and we’ll figure it out together.
