When considering what constitutes or fits the definition of infidelity, one may naturally think of the ultimate physical action of sleeping with other people.
However, while that is the time-worn scenario, individuals often determine their definition.
Without a universal line, especially in the age of instant communication and gratification, it could be essential to sit down with your spouse or prospective partner and discuss the rules of your relationship.
You may think that you’re on the same page about what crosses the line, but it’s better to go over the guidelines now, rather than ask for a mulligan later.
Intimacy is a touchstone of monogamy. However, while one easily recognizes physical intimacy, do we overlook or fail to understand its emotional counterpart?
One way that we express love and trust in our significant other is by letting our guard down and confiding our insecurities, secrets, wishes, dreams, etc.
If that is a marker of intimacy, is confiding in a work friend rather than you cheating?
Purposely avoiding you to tell someone else may be a red flag, but what if they’re emotionally taxed and need to relieve the pressure at the moment during the workday? What if it’s about your relationship?
What if that emotionally charged moment leads to contact? A hug is OK, but not for too long. What about a kiss on the cheek. Is it harmless?
Where does flirting fit into this scenario? Flirting in front of you is disrespectful. But it’s probably worse if you’re not there because it’s behind your back.
How about texting or sending messages on social media? What about commenting on their pictures?
Is it better to be transparent and bring this up in conversation, or is the naivety of ignorance more comfortable?
The latter scenario usually leads to one party pushing the boundaries too far.
Meeting Without You
How about a one-on-one business lunch, or going to a movie with a friend you don’t know? Wait a minute, isn’t that a date?
The boundaries seem evident until you start drawing the lines.
If you think that your spouse may have crossed the line, give us a call, and we’ll help you find the missing pieces of the puzzle.