Finances create friction. Financial limitations causes resentment often resulting in you constructing emotional walls which in turn play deciding factors in how we live our lives. Tradition may suggest that one of the byproducts of a marital union is the merging of finances, After all, the idea is that spouses are equals whom willing share things and responsibilities, so why not embrace money situations from a united front?
While you share a residence and living expenses, having separate bank accounts maintains a level of individuality that remains important. You can each contribute in splitting the bills. Dividing costs maintains a common ground and personal sense of identity and value rather than orchestrating a messy power struggle in which one person takes the reigns.
Separate Bank accounts develops a healthy environment, one in which both individuals are comfortable spending on their specific hobbies, activities etc. without feeling guilty or the need to ask for permission. While this independence is important, it also reinforces the necessity to maintain fiscal responsibility, spending within ones means and conquering debt rather than simply treating your spouse’s income as additional funds.
Additionally, this independence can serve as professional motivation encouraging individuals and inspiring them to excel via climbing the career ladder to gain further financial flexibility instead of falling into a place of collective complacency.
While some may suggest that independence isn’t necessary because spouses provide a united front and independence could imply secrecy it doesn’t have to. You should still have a reasonable and responsible dialogue about finances. But financial independence provides that line of communication were each person has a voice retaining self worth rather being swallowed up in a circumstance were the major bread winner gains dictator-like status. It sets you up better if an unfortunate economic circumstance such as losing a job occurs.
Independence doesn’t need to mean deception, it could simply maintain responsibility, motivation and self worth. It will facilitate discussions were both individuals bring something to the table rather than a situation in which one largely brings it in and feels that the counterpart primarily spends.
Avoid the friction and remain financially independent while staying together. Friction leads to the dangerous road of resentment on the way to divorce city.