Unanswered questions create internal tension.
Let’s say you’re just about to walk out the office door, car keys in hand when your boss asks to see you after lunch. You don’t why, and a flood of possibilities infiltrate your mind.
Did you do something wrong?
Now, you’re cycling through recent actions, replaying co-worker discussions, and going over the checklist of job responsibilities to see if you made a mistake or missed something.
You’re about to order a sandwich. However, when the moment arrives, you can’t think of what you want, which is ironic because an hour earlier, that turkey club sounded so good you could almost taste it.
You’re sitting at lunch, which is supposed to refuel your body for the second half of the day. But rather than enjoying your momentary reprieve, anticipatory anxiety is building over what’s going to happen next, once your boss closes that door.
- Could you get fired?
- Where would you apply if that happened?
- Who do you know that you could reach out to about potential leads
- How long could you afford to pay your bills while you’re unemployed?
Heading back to the office having already built up a series of defenses, you’re preparing for the worst possible outcome. It’s like a tragic take on Let’s Make a Deal.
Behind door #1: Unemployment, loss of income, time wasted on a planned career trajectory.
There’s also door #2: Maybe your boss has you earmarked for a promotion, and persistence pays off.
Then there’s door #3, the middle ground. Perhaps you’ll get to take on more responsibility.
How This Occurs in Your Relationship
Everything with your spouse is seemingly going great, and then slowly over time, you notice tiny changes in their demeanor and actions.
Maybe they’re working late to save up for your collective future.
But perhaps they’re spending time with somebody else, and that can be frightening.
Maybe it’s neither. It’s like an alarm ringing in your head, and it’s affecting everything you do.
If you need to know the truth, and you need it now, then call us, and we’ll look into what’s behind the door.