Jealousy may be a natural emotion that we all may experience from time to time. However, when it becomes the driving constant in a relationship, it can be a precursor to impending doom. Below are a few signs that jealousy is taking over your mind.
Signs of Jealousy
- Confirmations: Constantly and consistently needing reassurances about the status of the relationship, including positive affirmations and denial of cheating.
- Excessive Checking In: While your spouse is out, you contact him/her frequently; this can demonstrate insecurity and a lack of trust.
- Always Needing Details: This is another example of trying to control the situation, but there is a difference between knowing some of the pertinent information and needing an extensive itinerary before your spouse goes out.
- Snooping/Spying: Looking through a spouse’s text messages, call lists, emails etc.; they should have nothing to hide, but these actions show a lack of trust and imply suspicion.
How It Becomes Destructive
While these signs of jealousy can be misconstrued early on in a relationship as caring/protective actions; the reality is that in large part they are representative of a lack of individual confidence. This in turn breeds a lack of trust within an individual (perhaps stemming from a previous relationship/situation) causing a desire for control as means of self-defense. However, relationships are best when used as vehicles of growth rather than a means of restriction. These limiting forces will ultimately be seen as a chain that binds, and when this occurs the breakdown of communication takes place and happiness wilts.
Overcoming Jealous Emotions
While your jealousy may be triggered from a previous experience, exhibiting high levels of confidence in yourself and in the relationship are important. Don’t allow unwarranted negative thoughts to rule your mind and dictate your actions, trust your significant other until proven otherwise. Constantly work on self-improvement as a means of gaining confidence and turning one’s desire for control on the element you have the right to control. Know that if for some reason you are being deceived, they are the foolish ones, not you.
Jealousy can create a divide within a relationship and may in fact lead a spouse to look for an alternative. If you reasonably believe this is the case, then contacting a private investigator to explore the possibilities is your best avenue in determining the truth via video surveillance.