Some couples claim that they never argue, that might not be such a good thing after all. Disagreements could be the marker of a solid relationship rather than an indication of a bad one. However, the key is what and how you conflict. The first, and quite possibly most important part of a healthy argument, is that it doesn’t turn into an abusive situation of the physical or mental variety.
We’ve discussed how communication is a vital component of any relationship. Individuals who can express conflicting opinions rather than hiding their true feelings are more likely to work through issues in lieu of letting them steward harboring resentment. Arguing can indicate affection when it addresses a spouse’s best interest, such as health issues, eating/drinking habits.
Its important to express these issues from a place of love instead of one of criticism. In this manner your looking out for one and other instead of speaking down to your spouse. Whatever issue you disagree over, its important to stick within the confines of that subject. Don’t create a large point of negativity by piling or bringing in previous points of contention.
Depending on the situation, an argument can shift from constructive to destructive. Its important to recognize the triggers and shifts in tone that spark a destructive such as name-calling, profanity, and/or threats such as separation or divorce. The point is to gain a better understanding of your spouse’s point of view in order to get a better appreciation for each other. When things escalate in a negative way individuals tend to become defensive and may resort to saying hurtful things which they will likely regret; by then the damage is already done and the words will still linger in the other’s mind.
Be cognizant of the framework of your conversation. You should avoid the unspoken boundaries. If you feel that your emotion may be getting the best of you, momentarily step away and gather your thoughts; saying things while in an emotional state of mind can be detrimental because once you say something you can’t take it back.
Keep the lines of communication open. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship; you need to immediately recognize if the lines of communication begin to deteriorate because your failure to do so could be the beginning to the end of your relationship as you once knew it. Keeping the lines of communication takes work; however in doing so you will benefit the fruits of your labor via a harmonious relationship and life.
