Having a child or children is a landmark event for any couple. It represents another wrinkle within the series of steps representing long-term commitment. Quite obviously, the drastic changes parenting style can shift the dynamics of both an individual and a couple. All of a sudden, or at least within the snapshot time frame of 9-months, everything, which up until that point, revolved around “I” or “us” and once children enter the equation everything is the centered around the children.
Once children come into the relationship, some parents find it natural to sacrifice their own personal interests for the betterment of the children and what the child’s needs are. Clearly, children rely on their parents for the safety and security in creating a stable & nurturing environment. In fact, recognizing and adapting one’s priorities for the betterment of one’s child, rather than placing the onus on yourself, is not only necessary its a tell-tale sign of maturation.
However, as with any decision, the joy of parenting comes at a cost. The one-on-one relationship a couple most likely was accustomed to, can be placed secondary as the new stage of parenthood is entered. Time ticks away, as spare time and spontaneity are traded in for responsibility and routine. While many parents will outwardly embrace these paradigm shifts, failing to address the fallout of parenthood, including a lack of rest,personal time, intimacy etc can cause minor cracks in your marriage that when left to fester can become greater divides.
This is not to say that being a parent is an unrewarding, burdensome experience. It is an acknowledgement that some of the ramifications may be difficult for couples to adjust to. Rather than hiding behind the curtain of parenting, in which personal issues go on the back burner, it remains vital to recognize the shortcomings of any situation and work through those concerns while they’re still on the surface level, nipping them in the bud before they become deeply rooted and too strong to extinguish. Your relationship with your spouse will benefit from your sincerity as will your children.
https://qz.com/273255/how-american-parenting-is-killing-the-american-marriage
