White lies are an interesting case study. More often than not, the liar, when pressed for an explanation, will suggest that it was easier to fudge the information. Telling the truth would involve a more involved discussion, where the context would need to be laid out and details provided. Even so, the facts might seem unreal.
So, to avoid the hassle and time necessary for a real discussion, a small, inconsequential lie is told.
Rather than explaining that you were in the middle of a meaningful conversation with an emotional (and maybe intoxicated) friend, you say that you accidentally left your phone in the car. After all, the gist is the same, you couldn’t answer the phone, and by the time you could call back it was too late, and you didn’t want to wake them up.
That’s a reasonable course of events, right? You are supporting a friend in need and subsequently not returning a call because you are considerate of your spouse’s rest.
What’s the charge, being a good person? No harm, no foul.
Or you went out to happy hour with a friend from work and had a drink or two because things in the office are chaotic and stressful. You both needed to vent and let off some steam. It’s better to talk to them than you because they understand the environment and can more easily relate.
You were wound up and didn’t want to bring the negative energy home with you and have it spill over into your relationship. You are creating healthy boundaries between your professional and personal life, that sounds like a mature rationale. Yes, you both did drink a little too much. So you left your car at the bar and took an Uber home. That’s the responsible move.
The part about how your coworker was a man that you flirt with to make the day go a little faster and that you started to make out in the car, those details can be dropped because it didn’t mean anything to either of you, and your boyfriend would never let it go.
Just a few mundane details better left unsaid.
Are you concerned that your spouse is leaving out a lot of the details? Let us help you figure out the real story.