No one wants to think of their dating life as a game. That seems like a silly comparison, a trope only utilized in romantic comedy films but not applicable to genuine, honest relationships, right?
However, when you start to consider it honestly, there are (often unspoken) rules that we all tend to follow within our relationships, whether romantic or platonic.
Relationship Rules & Regulations
A hot-button topic that may benefit from the clarification of communication is the guidelines of whom your spouse can hang out with, alone or minimally, when you’re not also present.
Check out this forum thread on healthy marriage boundaries for a few opinions.
This is where context and personal history matter and may help to dictate, for lack of better words, “terms and conditions.”
The ideal response/answer sounds something like, “I trust my spouse, and therefore, they can hang out with whomever, whenever, wherever.”
However, have you ever had a platonic friend that became a romantic one? Do you notice that your spouse and their friend are a little flirty? Is it innocent and harmless, or should this be a red flag that needs to be addressed?
Questions/Concerns
- Should you and your spouse sit down and discuss your concerns, or do any potential discussion make you seem insecure, jealous, immature, or doubting their commitment to your relationship?
- Should you voice your concerns or clear the air with their friend?
- Does it matter if the friendship is longstanding or more recent?
- Do you have more say if your intimate relationship came before and less if later?
- Does it matter if they’re single or taken?
- Is lunch or coffee ok, but dinner and drinks a no-no?
- Where’s line the line? Will you only know if they cross it?
- Is it yours to draw?
The truth is that no hard and fast rules will ensure fidelity.
At the same time, addressing/communicating with your spouse can only help avoid miscommunication and the anxiety caused by grey areas.
Only you and your spouse know if creating/implementing boundaries is a reasonable tactic to benefit your relationship.
Find out if your partner & their “friend” are getting too close for comfort.
Are you worried that your spouse is crossing a line in your marriage? Could you use a separate set of eyes to set the record straight?
Magnum Investigations is looking out for you.
